1 00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:32,650 Jesselnik Offensive. I'm Anthony Jesselnik. How are you kids doing 2 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:40,590 Fantastic. We have got, I can't believe this, another perfect show for you 3 00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:43,510 tonight. Natasha Leggero and Jason Manzoukas are here. 4 00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:51,210 But first, bad news is my shepherd, I shall not want. 5 00:00:51,690 --> 00:00:52,950 Aw, snap. 6 00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:58,610 Louisville basketball player Kevin Ware snapped his shinbone during a game last 7 00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:03,020 week. Which means he actually might get his communications degree. 8 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:10,600 You might be a redneck. Shane Gandy, one of the stars of the MTV show Buckwild, 9 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,660 was found dead this week in West Virginia. 10 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:17,000 Gandy apparently died after leaving a bar with his uncle at 3 a .m. to go four 11 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,380 -wheeling in the woods, or as it's known in West Virginia, natural causes. 12 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,840 My, what big eyes you have at an airport recently. 13 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,620 Actress Amanda Seyfried. 14 00:01:28,970 --> 00:01:33,430 was mistaken for Lindsay Lohan. But Amanda's nice. She patiently explained 15 00:01:33,430 --> 00:01:35,970 the person, no, honey, you're Lindsay Lohan. 16 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:43,090 The best part of waking up two 13 -year -old students in Virginia are facing 17 00:01:43,090 --> 00:01:47,130 felony charges after they tried to slowly poison their math teacher by 18 00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,690 hand sanitizer in her coffee. 19 00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:54,610 So let that be a lesson to you. You can poison people by adding hand sanitizer 20 00:01:54,610 --> 00:01:55,610 to their coffee. 21 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,860 Drop it. After an 11 -year -old boy had his finger bitten off by the family dog, 22 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:08,880 the boy's father shot the dog and cut it open to retrieve the finger, but 23 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,300 doctors couldn't reattach it. Since then, the father's been standing outside 24 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,100 boy's hospital room trying to think of some good news. 25 00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:22,260 And finally, hey, I'm waddling here. A new study shows that overweight 26 00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:25,320 pedestrians suffer less severe injuries when they're hit by cars. 27 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,720 Great news for the one overweight guy who walks everywhere. 28 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,820 That was a great monologue. 29 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:37,240 Everyone 30 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:46,840 loves 31 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,620 the audience games we play here on the Jeselnik Offensive, like Black Named 32 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:54,380 Spelling Bee and Which Kind of Asian Is This? One question we keep getting, 33 00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:57,470 though, is... Could you guys possibly be any more racist? 34 00:02:57,690 --> 00:03:00,590 Well, for once, your sarcastic prayers have been answered. 35 00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:04,410 We've got the most racist game of all, with a little help from our friends at 36 00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:06,130 Google. It's called Search and Destroy. 37 00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:10,070 Here's how it works. I'll give you the beginning of a search term, and you give 38 00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:12,030 me the autocomplete racist result. 39 00:03:12,430 --> 00:03:13,430 Sounds complicated? 40 00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:14,890 It's not. 41 00:03:14,930 --> 00:03:15,930 You're just dumb. 42 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,410 Let's see what our contestants will be playing for tonight. 43 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,080 What an amazing opportunity. 44 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:31,620 Now let's have our first contestant come on up here. 45 00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:33,900 How's it going? 46 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:35,580 Thanks for playing. 47 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:36,759 What's your name? 48 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,340 Josh. Josh? What do you do, Josh? I'm executive for a retail company. 49 00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:42,000 You seem more like a wholesale guy to me. 50 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,920 What kind of, like clothes? 51 00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:47,320 Like apparel. Like apparel. Yeah. You mean clothes. 52 00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:48,580 Yeah. 53 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,940 Are you wearing your apparel now? No. 54 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,020 No. No. You sound passionate. 55 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000 All right, Josh. 56 00:03:56,220 --> 00:04:02,020 When users Google black people smell like, the top three most common searches 57 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:06,580 are sour milk, poop, and cocoa butter. 58 00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:11,400 But Josh, what is the fourth most common search result? 59 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,320 What do black people smell like? 60 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,180 Cotton. Cotton? 61 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,070 just took racism to the third dimension. 62 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,670 I'm sorry. The answer we're looking for is crayons. 63 00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:33,890 Black people smell like crayons. 64 00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:37,010 And keep in mind, I didn't come up with these answers. 65 00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,490 I just agree with them. 66 00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:40,110 Thanks for playing, Josh. 67 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:43,510 Appreciate it. Thank you. Let's have our next contestant come on up here. 68 00:04:45,730 --> 00:04:46,730 That's hell. 69 00:04:47,690 --> 00:04:48,690 All right. 70 00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:50,510 Finally. 71 00:04:51,990 --> 00:04:53,730 Now, what is your name? Laniece J. 72 00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:54,929 Laniece J? 73 00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:56,870 Yes. Okay, I'll take your word for it. 74 00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:58,490 Laniece, what do you do? 75 00:04:58,510 --> 00:04:59,950 I'm a dancer. You're a dancer? 76 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:01,170 Yes, not exotic. 77 00:05:01,190 --> 00:05:03,570 Not exotic. So your parents are proud of you? Yes. Okay. 78 00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:06,770 You know what? This is not an insult, but you could be an exotic dancer. 79 00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,530 I could be an exotic dancer. 80 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:09,609 Hell yeah. 81 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:10,610 Oh. 82 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:16,470 But, oh, I hope my mom is not watching this. 83 00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:17,970 Your mom's not watching shit. 84 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,210 All right, Laniece. 85 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:29,080 When people Google white people smell like, the top three most common searches 86 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:34,160 are ham, dog, wet potato chips. 87 00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:40,780 And what is the fourth most common thing white people smell like? Money. 88 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,020 Money? That's a good guess. 89 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,660 I'm sorry, we were looking for white people smell like wet chicken. 90 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:51,840 Yeah. 91 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,100 Let's get you out of here. You must be hungry, but thanks for playing. 92 00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,900 Let's have our next contestant come on up. 93 00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,060 What's up? 94 00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:07,620 Coming up, you're a street fighter. How you doing? 95 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:08,840 Doing good. 96 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,079 What's your name? 97 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,000 David. David. What do you do, David? 98 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:15,340 I'm going to school full -time to become a homicide detective. 99 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:16,640 A homicide detective? 100 00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:19,260 Is that why you're here tonight? Because I'm f***ing killing it? 101 00:06:23,130 --> 00:06:24,130 Okay. 102 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:28,130 Now, David, you must spend all of your time in front of a computer. 103 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:36,350 So if you were to Google Mexican people smell, the top two answers are like 104 00:06:36,350 --> 00:06:40,190 fabric softeners or the same. 105 00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:45,930 But what's the third way that Mexican people smell? 106 00:06:47,530 --> 00:06:49,530 My lawn. My lawn! 107 00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,980 we were looking for was Mexican people smell bad. 108 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:05,660 Bad. I bet that's the first question you've ever gotten wrong. Thank you for 109 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:06,660 playing. 110 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,160 Thanks to all of our racist contestants. 111 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:13,880 And for all you bigots at home, happy Googling. We'll be right back with 112 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,640 Leggero and Jason Mandzuka. 113 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,480 Welcome back to the Jeselnik Offensive, kids. 114 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,800 It's a random Tuesday, and you know what that means. It's time to grab your bag 115 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,220 and your balls. It's This Week in Ladies Golf. 116 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,220 It's been an exciting week on the Lady Lynx, but when is it not? 117 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,640 Let's get right into that sweet, sweet girl -on -girl action. 118 00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:55,660 Beatrice Ricari, the Iberian nightmare, sinks a miracle 18 -footer from the 119 00:07:55,660 --> 00:08:00,180 fringe in a playoff and takes home a cool quarter mil. I like big putts. 120 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,640 Playing through to Tallahassee, Florida, where a foursome on the back nine at 121 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,400 Hilleman Golf Course heard two gunshots, went to see what happened, and found 122 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,300 two, count them, two dead women. 123 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:17,040 Sounds like someone made a hole in one and a hole in the other one. 124 00:08:17,710 --> 00:08:20,930 That's right. It's a two -way tie for our shot of the day. 125 00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:24,030 Sponsored by Meisterbrow Premium Beer. 126 00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:27,290 Four is how many I'll be having. I'm driving. 127 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:36,770 And finally, let's turn back the clock and tee up a TWILG Classic Moments. 128 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:42,020 A woman's severed head was found on a golf course way back, back, back, back, 129 00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:43,020 back in 1989. 130 00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:48,040 Has been ID'd as a prostitute. Murdered by serial killer and nine handicapper, 131 00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,140 Joel Rifkin. 132 00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:52,240 Hey, Riff Dog, that is one wicked slice. 133 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,680 Replace your divots. That was This Week in Ladies Golf. See you next Tuesday, 134 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,800 lesbians. 135 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,140 And now, all aboard the panel train. 136 00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:06,060 The stops are Panel Junction, Panel City, and East St. Panel. It's time for 137 00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:07,060 panel. 138 00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:12,850 Numerous appearances on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Burning Love on E! 139 00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:14,570 It's Natasha Leggera. 140 00:09:16,510 --> 00:09:21,310 And you know him from FX's The League and HBO's Enlightened. It's Jason 141 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,310 Manzoukas. 142 00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:26,410 Hooray! 143 00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:31,130 Natasha, is it true that you carry around a rape whistle with you at all 144 00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:32,530 in case you get bored of conversations? 145 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:42,900 Jason, I hear you're allergic to eggs. Yeah, violently so. 146 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:47,800 It did not stop you from filling my dressing room full of, like, cookies and 147 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,880 muffins that would straight up kill me. I had all that leftover Cadbury shit, 148 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:52,960 man. I had to deal with it. 149 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,480 How dare you? How dare you? 150 00:09:56,820 --> 00:10:00,500 Let's get right into it with the best worst thing of the week. Of all the 151 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,280 news stories, this one's my favorite. 152 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,120 If you can't stand the heat, don't murder your wife in the kitchen. 153 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,660 A California chef just got the maximum sentence for killing his spouse and then 154 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,420 cooking her body for four days. 155 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,180 Oh, no. 156 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,140 Look at him. Ay -yi -yi. 157 00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:21,080 Oops. But what, like, I feel like everybody is glossing over is that when 158 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:26,360 found out that they were suspecting him of doing it, he threw himself off a 159 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,380 cliff and lived. 160 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:34,600 Between that and straight -up slow -roasting his wife, this dude has done 161 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,680 things on my bucket list. 162 00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:41,050 It's important for ladies to know that the look a guy gives you when he's about 163 00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:43,790 to f*** you, it's the same look as when he's about to eat you. 164 00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:50,010 I just think it's dumb to boil a body for four days because then there's no 165 00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:51,010 nutrients left. 166 00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:54,570 I hope he doesn't turn her into those small plates. I just hate when chefs do 167 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,570 that. 168 00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:59,650 I would think by day three he was so tempted to take the lid off the crock 169 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,270 This is a horrible story. 170 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:08,340 He bound her up with duct tape for a full day before he killed her, right? 171 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:12,260 Before he cooked her. And when I was reading that, I was like, this is kind 172 00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:13,260 sexy. 173 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:18,040 At this point, Jason, I feel like you must have been in the room when he 174 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,040 her. 175 00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:26,450 Up next is the JonBenet Ramsey Memorial parenting segment, where children are 176 00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:28,410 the future, but parents are the stars. 177 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,510 You spin me right round, baby, right round. 178 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:35,990 A 17 -year -old Rochester, New York mom was arrested after she put her two -year 179 00:11:35,990 --> 00:11:38,950 -old son inside a running dryer at a public laundromat. 180 00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:44,510 Oof. This story is so terrible. Like, I cannot believe people still have to go 181 00:11:44,510 --> 00:11:45,510 to the laundromat. 182 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,160 This is one of those things that I'm like, is this really a big deal? 183 00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:57,160 Or is this just modern parenting? Because if you read about it, the kid 184 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,700 fine. And I guarantee you, he's not going to piss his pants again. 185 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:06,840 And now it's time to play the classic game, Is That a Baby in the Dryer? 186 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,520 Oh, I love this game! 187 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:15,260 We'll play an audio clip of Something in the Dryer, and you tell me if it's the 188 00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,320 sweet sound of a baby. 189 00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,070 Or something else in the dryer. 190 00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:21,410 First up, Jason, listen to this sound. 191 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:28,750 Wow. 192 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,130 Jason. Wow, wow, wow. 193 00:12:30,390 --> 00:12:32,130 Is that a baby in the dryer? 194 00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:33,730 I'm going to say no. 195 00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:40,410 It's a pretty heavy metallic sound, so I'm going to go with not a baby, 196 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:43,550 It was a panini maker in the dryer. 197 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,620 Listen to this thing in the dryer. 198 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:04,040 Natasha, is that a baby in the dryer? 199 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:05,700 I'm going to say yes. 200 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:10,160 Yes, that is eight pounds, nine ounces of pure baby in the dryer. 201 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,139 Nailed it. 202 00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,140 All right. 203 00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:14,860 Nailed it. You guys are awesome at this. 204 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,500 Jason, listen to this thing. All right. 205 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,600 Wow. Nathan, is that a baby in the dryer? 206 00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:29,300 Anthony, I'm going to say yes, that's a baby in the dryer. 207 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,560 No, it's three babies in the dryer. 208 00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,560 No. Three babies in the dryer. 209 00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:37,020 No. Yes. 210 00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:40,920 That's just a time saver. 211 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,760 Does this panel make me look panel? Of course it's panel. 212 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,360 We'll be right back with more panel. 213 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:07,710 Welcome back to panel. The panel is like a hot knife through warm panel. It's 214 00:14:07,710 --> 00:14:08,710 more panel. 215 00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:14,290 And now for our segment, Culture Club, where we take a baseball bat to the 216 00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:16,150 shop of human intellectual achievement. 217 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:21,070 Mind your own lady business. A biology teacher in Idaho is getting heat from 218 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:25,050 parents for mentioning vaginas and female orgasms while teaching 219 00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:29,490 Oh, I know my least favorite day of biology class was when we had to dissect 220 00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:30,490 vaginas. 221 00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:39,750 In Idaho, the technical term for vagina is rank . To be fair 222 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:44,970 to this guy, he was only saying vaginas in an effort to describe his own facial 223 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:45,970 hair. 224 00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:54,390 This is a crazy story. This is like Footloose for vaginas. 225 00:14:56,170 --> 00:15:00,370 My thing is, I can't believe this guy is teaching the female orgasm in class. 226 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:04,150 I mean, like, aren't we supposed to be teaching our kids things that are real? 227 00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:06,250 Oh, come on. 228 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:07,530 I'm single, ladies. 229 00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:12,650 No, it is better than what they do in Mississippi where your uncle teaches you 230 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:13,650 sex education. 231 00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:18,190 I would think after a lifetime of giving mustache rides, this guy would know 232 00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:19,190 what was up. 233 00:15:20,430 --> 00:15:23,610 I don't know what the big deal is. It's like a biology class. He's talking about 234 00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:26,950 vaginas, blah, blah, blah. It's not that big a deal to me. To me, in high 235 00:15:26,950 --> 00:15:28,930 school, I mean, I took AP finger blasting. 236 00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:32,230 AP? And I passed. 237 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:33,710 Did you get college credit for that? 238 00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:36,790 No. I was homeschooled. 239 00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:41,850 All right. 240 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,710 Let's do a little role playing here, all right? 241 00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:48,770 Jason, pretend you're a teacher. Okay. 242 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:54,200 Explain to Natasha how the female orgasm works without using any profanity or 243 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,240 dirty scientific words. 244 00:15:57,460 --> 00:16:03,980 Now, Natasha, you know, when a man loves a woman, you know, her flower becomes 245 00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:10,540 engorged and hot, and he takes out his hose to water her flower. 246 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,660 And it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. 247 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,880 Unless his hose... 248 00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:23,070 shoots too early, and then she gets angry, and then a whole thing occurs 249 00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:24,070 money. Why? 250 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:28,690 Why did this become about money? Guess what I don't need right now? You writing 251 00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:30,110 me about money, okay? 252 00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:34,070 It's not interesting to me. I can get it back in a couple minutes if you do 253 00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:35,070 mouth stuff. 254 00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:38,590 Right? 255 00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:50,710 And now it's time for Latino Voice. 256 00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:01,670 Jason, have you been watching Game of Thrones this season? Do you think 257 00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:04,670 Daenerys' dragons will be big enough for her to take the Iron Throne? 258 00:17:06,430 --> 00:17:08,869 Amen. You gotta listen to me, okay? 259 00:17:09,490 --> 00:17:11,329 What you're talking is crazy talk. 260 00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:15,430 Khaleesi's dragons are going to take over the whole kingdoms, all of the 261 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,319 And if Santa thinks these sports would be able to overtake her, even with the 262 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:21,339 red woman, it's fire versus fire, man. 263 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:25,960 Natasha, 264 00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:34,520 how many purses do you own, and which one is your favorite? 265 00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:36,460 Well, Anthony... 266 00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:50,870 I have. 267 00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:56,970 And my favorite purse is the red one. 268 00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:01,750 And that was Latino Voices. 269 00:18:05,070 --> 00:18:09,830 And now it's time to throw out the baby with the bathwater. It's defending your 270 00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:10,830 tweet. 271 00:18:11,930 --> 00:18:13,450 You tweeted it. 272 00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:17,430 Now I'm going to read it and ask you to defend it in front of all these people. 273 00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:18,950 Tasha. 274 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,580 On February 3rd, you tweeted the following. 275 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,540 Pound it! Four exclamation points. 276 00:18:24,940 --> 00:18:25,940 Hashtag JK. 277 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,760 Natasha, defend your tweet. 278 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,960 Okay, everyone was, like, tweeting sports stuff, so in my mind, I thought 279 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,440 was, like, what people say to sports. 280 00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:37,820 Okay, I pound it. 281 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,020 Oh, man, did you see that sports game the other night? Pound it. 282 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:46,740 No, like, like, pound the ball, you know? Like, pound it. Yeah, like, pound 283 00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,440 ball. Like that old thing. 284 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,580 I'm curious what sport that is. 285 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,140 That was a good defense, Natasha. 286 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:53,640 You really pounded it. 287 00:18:54,880 --> 00:19:01,700 Now, Jason. Yeah. On March 22nd, you tweeted, Sweet! I made $103 .76 288 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,440 so far filling out surveys. 289 00:19:07,260 --> 00:19:08,260 Jason, 290 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,820 that seems like spam. 291 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:15,979 Defend your tweet. 292 00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:16,980 No. 293 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:23,300 I know it does, but dude, I made $103 .76 from filling out surveys, and I want 294 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:27,940 people to know about it. This is a great thing. Follow that link. Trust it, 295 00:19:27,940 --> 00:19:29,960 guys. This is flawless. 296 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,940 I'm pretty hilarious on Twitter, I will be honest. 297 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,120 Even though that picture looks like a homeless version of me. 298 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,380 Yeah, it looks exactly like you. 299 00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:42,260 But thank you guys both for being here tonight. 300 00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:46,920 Catch Natasha live April 11th through 13th at Comedy Works in Denver. And 301 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,920 out Jason's podcast, How Did This Get Made, available on iTunes. 302 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,600 We'll be right back with more stuff. 303 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,200 Thanks again to Natasha. 304 00:20:30,999 --> 00:20:32,120 I don't know. Why? 305 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,780 Because if people saw us walking together, they'd know we were f***ed. 306 00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:54,240 Good night, kids. Go read a book. 307 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,400 What is the third most common third for what Asian people smell like? 308 00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:11,100 Rice. Rice. 309 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,000 Great guess. 310 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,720 Do you bereave in miracles? 311 00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:17,680 No, it's mothballs. 312 00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,520 Looking for mothballs.